Gustafer Yellowgold

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WHAT IS A ‘DARK PIE’ AND WHY SHOULD WE BE SO ‘CONCERNED?’

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“GUSTAFER YELLOWGOLD’S DARK PIE CONCERNS” CD/DVD DIGS DEEP BUT BARELY SCRATCHES THE SURFACE ON HOW WE CAN TALK ABOUT PIE.

Blog---DPC

top: Experiencing a typical Dark Pie moment.
bottom: A quick, nightmarish descent towards a Black-ish Pie experience.

Everyone has their own Dark Pie. For some, a Dark Pie is an inability to shuffle a deck of cards without them scattering everywhere. Others may find it impossible to make eye contact with the server while ordering at a restaurant. For Gustafer’s best pal, Forrest Applecrumbie, a Dark Pie is his total powerlessness in baking a successfully light pie.  If this sounds confusing, believe us, it is!  Do you know when to ask for help? That is the Pie Guy.  “But what if my Dark Pie is the inability to know when to call a Pie Guy?”, you might ask. That is where things get really dark.  There exists, what is known as the ‘Pie Shade Spectrum’, and occasionally you will be faced with a concept known as Totally Black Pie.  Okay…  That’s an exceedingly treacherous, nearly incomprehendable place to return from.  There are legends of the iron-willed who have pulled themselves or been pulled out of, say, a Black-ish Pie.  A top secret, underground ‘Pie-Op’ is said to exist. The experience of actually discovering these yourself by purchasing Gustafer Yellowgold’s Dark Pie Concerns CD/DVD set will help you understand subtleties of life’s Pies much more profoundly.
That is all we can say.  Keep it light.

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Why Ya’ Gotta Crash So Much Food? (Like the innocent pancake in this drawing)

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To honor the release of “Gustafer Yellowgold’s Year In The Day” DVD/CD set, we discuss the wonderfully positive response to hits such as Pancake Smackdown, I Jump On Cake, Punching Cheese, Pumpkin Pied and other favorites.

Q: Why does Gustafer Jump On Cake?
A: Ol’ Gus never had a Solar equivalent to what we call “pie” or “cake”, but the closest things were the large pucks of golden raisin-matter they used in olympic-style gaming in Solaria. The contests involved participants jumping from great laddered heights onto cushions of raisin, where they were subsequently judged on style, finesse, accuracy and stamina.

Q: Why does he punch those cheeses?
A: Because of the trouble he had in the all-cheese clothing store called “Wisconsin Poncho”. He’s never looked at a disc of Brie the same way again.

Q: Isn’t it a bit of a waste of decent food?
A: Gustafer’s solar makeup gives him a higher than normal body temperature than most mammals, so he always has a pretty good-sized following of woodland creatures. Any cake or cheese morsels that shrapnel about him are always quickly munched up by the happy bird and fur-folk. Thus, no wastage.

Q: Are there any more food violence videos to come?
A: Stay near, dear believers. We have only scratched the flapjack.

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